I apologize for the graphic title of this posting, however, one of the promises I have made to myself is to keep the experience real - unblemished.
Once per week, I take the blue pill (Viagra). Surely, you've watched the commercials on TV where a band sings "Viva Viagra" while other commercials show a couple wanting to enjoy the evening together, but the man needs help. Most men would never realize the pill does not work by itself. Stimulation is required to get the blood vessels growing again. When I had surgery, the two nerves that lie on top of the prostate went into a state of shock. For a period of time (for some, a life time), I am not able to get an erection. Some of my friends have asked if this is frustrating. I won't allow myself to get frustrated over something I cannot control. All I can do is what the doctors tell me to do.
BTW - Viagra is not cheap! Want to buy some from me? :-)
For the past 2 weeks, I've tried to get an erection by watching porn. Yes, this is one of the recommended ways to stimulate according to my doctors. I tell people I have a prescription to watch porn. :-) Something very strange has happened to me through the stimulation. When the prostate is removed, there is no semen produced - one of the functions of the prostate. Most men produce semen when they ejaculated. Prior to surgery, the doctors told me I would not produce semen during ejaculation. What they didn't tell me is what would be produced in place of the semen. I thought nothing - oh no - there is something, which was a SHOCK to me. When a man without a prostate ejaculates, any fluid in the seminal vesicles squirts from the penis. I thought it was urine, but doctors say it is seminal fluid. Seminal fluid combined with semen is what produces sperm. I bet you didn't know you were going to get a lesson on the male reproductive system. :-)
So, I am still wearing "pee" pads - down to about 2 per day. The worst part of wearing the pee pads is that you constantly smell like pee - good thing I work out of the home so I can take multiple showers per day. I know this is not pleasant to read, but it is reality.
For those who continue to read my blog, please don't stop. I hope to use this blog for writing a book and to help encourage others that prostate cancer is not the end of the world. You can overcome it if you do your regular checkups.
Have a great week! I am thankful for family and friends. However, when it comes to my cancer, I am most proud of the decision I made to choose Dr. James Porter from Swedish Hospital in Seattle. He is the best there is in the country!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
I am back!
hi everyone - sorry for not providing updates to my blog for a few weeks. After the catheter was removed, it was time for me to focus on the next step of recovery. A lot has happened over the past 3 weeks. Some of the news is good, some not so good.Please continue to check out my blog as more updates are on their way.
I leave you with a picture of me just after coming out of surgery. During surgery, a catheter was placed in me because the bladder was surgically connected to the urethra and needed time to heal before I could urinate normally. I had this huge desire to pee, which is ironic because I was in the bed lying down with the catheter. I didn't need to get up at all to go pee. Once I got to my room, I repeatedly kept telling the nurses, "I have to pee". Although I was under medication, I was feisty and wanted my way. A sign was made for me while I was in the hospital. I still have the sign.
Monday, December 29, 2008
No More Catheter (YES!)
When I woke up this morning, I was so looking forward to my catheter being removed. For men who have a catheter for life, I truly feel for each of them. I don't know what I would do if I had a catheter for life. For an active man, the catheter limits so many activities, including walking, bike riding, lifting weights, traveling, working, relationships, sex, etc.
I arrived at the doctor's office just before 12pm. After a brief wait, the nurse called my name and escorted me to one of the exam rooms. She asked me if I had been leaking any urine from the tip of my penis. Apparently, leakage with a catheter is an indication the bladder is going through muscle spams and trying to use the urethral to urinate. When I told the nurse, I had a little leakage, she decided to wait until Dr. Porter was available. Dr. Porter was just finishing up with another surgery. The nurse came back into the exam room and said she just got word from Dr. Porter to go ahead and remove the catheter. While there is risk of the bladder and urethral not working correctly, Dr. Porter felt like 2 weeks with a catheter was enough to give it a try. I was not nervous about having the catheter removed. I was more nervous about my bladder and urethra not working correctly and having to insert a new catheter. I just prayed in my own way for my bladder and urethra to work after the nurse pulled out the catheter.
Before the catheter is removed, the nurse fills up my bladder with a specific amount of water. There are 2 reasons for this: 1) to see if the bladder and urethra work after the catheter is removed; 2) to test the amount of water left in the bladder after the catheter is removed. The sensation of being filled up with lots of water is difficult to explain if you have not been through it. Once the water was inserted into my bladder, the nurse prepared to deflate the balloon that keeps the catheter in the bladder. Within less than 5 seconds of excruciating pain along with screams and moans of pain, the sound of water flowing was music to my ears. Even though I was in pain, the fact that the catheter was out and the bladder and urethra started working was a wonderful feeling of relief.
The nurse then measured the amount of water relieved from my bladder. Approximately 10% of the water was still in my bladder, which means 90% of the water was relieved through the urethra. This almost made me cry knowing I would not need to have another catheter placed inside me. The nurse brought me my first incontinence pad. They are not bad provided you can control when and where you are throughout the day. For the first day, I was unable to control my continence. I had to use 15 incontinence pads the first day. The doctor said to not be surprised if you use more than 5 pads today. I blew those expectations out of the water - pun intended! (LOL)
I arrived at the doctor's office just before 12pm. After a brief wait, the nurse called my name and escorted me to one of the exam rooms. She asked me if I had been leaking any urine from the tip of my penis. Apparently, leakage with a catheter is an indication the bladder is going through muscle spams and trying to use the urethral to urinate. When I told the nurse, I had a little leakage, she decided to wait until Dr. Porter was available. Dr. Porter was just finishing up with another surgery. The nurse came back into the exam room and said she just got word from Dr. Porter to go ahead and remove the catheter. While there is risk of the bladder and urethral not working correctly, Dr. Porter felt like 2 weeks with a catheter was enough to give it a try. I was not nervous about having the catheter removed. I was more nervous about my bladder and urethra not working correctly and having to insert a new catheter. I just prayed in my own way for my bladder and urethra to work after the nurse pulled out the catheter.
Before the catheter is removed, the nurse fills up my bladder with a specific amount of water. There are 2 reasons for this: 1) to see if the bladder and urethra work after the catheter is removed; 2) to test the amount of water left in the bladder after the catheter is removed. The sensation of being filled up with lots of water is difficult to explain if you have not been through it. Once the water was inserted into my bladder, the nurse prepared to deflate the balloon that keeps the catheter in the bladder. Within less than 5 seconds of excruciating pain along with screams and moans of pain, the sound of water flowing was music to my ears. Even though I was in pain, the fact that the catheter was out and the bladder and urethra started working was a wonderful feeling of relief.
The nurse then measured the amount of water relieved from my bladder. Approximately 10% of the water was still in my bladder, which means 90% of the water was relieved through the urethra. This almost made me cry knowing I would not need to have another catheter placed inside me. The nurse brought me my first incontinence pad. They are not bad provided you can control when and where you are throughout the day. For the first day, I was unable to control my continence. I had to use 15 incontinence pads the first day. The doctor said to not be surprised if you use more than 5 pads today. I blew those expectations out of the water - pun intended! (LOL)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Great News from Dr. Porter
I have not posted for a few days because I don't have Internet at the house due to the storm and weather conditions. Once I have Internet at home, I will fill-in some of the days that are missing.
I met with Dr. Porter this afternoon for my first post-operation appointment. Dr. Porter asked how I was doing. I said, "Except for the catheter and the pain at the tip of the catheter, I am doing well." He checked my abdomen area to make sure all of the incisions were healing appropriately. He noticed I was healing better than most. He took off the bandage that covered the hole where the JP bottle was placed.
About 50% of prostate cancer surgeries require the JP bottle, which is used to help with draining of blood in the abdomen area. Dr. Porter said I had more blood than normal which is why he inserted the JP bottle. Imagine a tube from within your abdomen draining to a bottle. The blood is drained from the bottle when it fills up.
Before discussing what to do about the catheter, Dr. Porter had the pathology report from my prostate and lymph nodes. Great news! The results suggest he got ALL of the cancer, however, we still have to wait for the PSA test - 6 weeks after surgery. Dr. Porter removed both tumors by removing the left and right side of the prostate, was able to save both nerves, and removed 8 lymph nodes in the pelvic area. My chances for being cancer free are excellent!
After recovery, I will need to look into lymph node therapy so I decrease my chances of getting sick and infections. Lymph nodes are used to fight infections found in the body.
I was hoping to get the catheter removed today because it is a pain in the ass to walk around (private or public) with a bag of urine. With the bag, I get more looks than a supermodel. (LOL)
Dr. Porter said he could remove it today. But, there are risks. If the urethral was not completely healed, there is a chance my bladder would not drain (naturally) and I would need to go back into emergency room to have another catheter inserted. This time, it would be inserted while awake. No thanks! I had already felt what it was like to have your bladder fill and not be able to drain it, and then the thought of another catheter being inserted while awake was not fun. The downside is I would have to keep the catheter in until next Monday because of the holidays. The doctor's office is closed through the Christmas weekend. So, the catheter is still in - it sucks!
Soon, I will post some pictures. They aren't pretty, but they are reality! (LOL)
If I don't get a chance to post before Christmas, Happy Holidays to family and friends!
I met with Dr. Porter this afternoon for my first post-operation appointment. Dr. Porter asked how I was doing. I said, "Except for the catheter and the pain at the tip of the catheter, I am doing well." He checked my abdomen area to make sure all of the incisions were healing appropriately. He noticed I was healing better than most. He took off the bandage that covered the hole where the JP bottle was placed.
About 50% of prostate cancer surgeries require the JP bottle, which is used to help with draining of blood in the abdomen area. Dr. Porter said I had more blood than normal which is why he inserted the JP bottle. Imagine a tube from within your abdomen draining to a bottle. The blood is drained from the bottle when it fills up.
Before discussing what to do about the catheter, Dr. Porter had the pathology report from my prostate and lymph nodes. Great news! The results suggest he got ALL of the cancer, however, we still have to wait for the PSA test - 6 weeks after surgery. Dr. Porter removed both tumors by removing the left and right side of the prostate, was able to save both nerves, and removed 8 lymph nodes in the pelvic area. My chances for being cancer free are excellent!
After recovery, I will need to look into lymph node therapy so I decrease my chances of getting sick and infections. Lymph nodes are used to fight infections found in the body.
I was hoping to get the catheter removed today because it is a pain in the ass to walk around (private or public) with a bag of urine. With the bag, I get more looks than a supermodel. (LOL)
Dr. Porter said he could remove it today. But, there are risks. If the urethral was not completely healed, there is a chance my bladder would not drain (naturally) and I would need to go back into emergency room to have another catheter inserted. This time, it would be inserted while awake. No thanks! I had already felt what it was like to have your bladder fill and not be able to drain it, and then the thought of another catheter being inserted while awake was not fun. The downside is I would have to keep the catheter in until next Monday because of the holidays. The doctor's office is closed through the Christmas weekend. So, the catheter is still in - it sucks!
Soon, I will post some pictures. They aren't pretty, but they are reality! (LOL)
If I don't get a chance to post before Christmas, Happy Holidays to family and friends!
Friday, December 19, 2008
foldit - solve puzzles for science
The Computer Science & Engineering and Biochemistry departments from the University of Washington have collaborated together to create a science game. The game is called foldit. The game enables others to contribute to "important scientific research." Some of their goals include finding answers to fight life threatening diseases:
- Cancer
- HIV/AIDS
- Alzheimer's
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Cancer Sucks!
My doctors told me I would probably not recognize my battle with cancer until I was going through treatment and recovery. In one day, you go from being a person who exercises regularly, walks normal, and has all of his normal male functions without any additional equipment, to being a completely different person physically.
Hours later you wake up with a catheter, a tube in your abdomen, two IV's, 5 holes in your body and medication to cope with the pain. Then, there is the non-obvious results - incontinence, impotence, etc. You feel like an old man, but in reality I am in the group of younger men who just happen to get prostate cancer.
I am sad for the other men who are going through what I am going through. I thought I would be more emotional after treatment and during recovery. Maybe, I realize the importance of being strong to get through the next 6 weeks. During the past 2 months, I've cried or gotten emotional at unpredictable times. I am sure it will happen again.
In 6 weeks, I will have my first post-surgery PSA test to determine if there is anymore cancer remaining in my body. Right now, I am not prepared for any results other than negative. I have to think this way so I can remain positive about the results.
Everyone - thank you for your positive thoughts! Please don't just read this website. Learn from it because some of the information I have provided might prevent you or someone you know from getting cancer.
I want to say thank you to family, friends and colleagues for your emotional support! It means a lot to me!
Hours later you wake up with a catheter, a tube in your abdomen, two IV's, 5 holes in your body and medication to cope with the pain. Then, there is the non-obvious results - incontinence, impotence, etc. You feel like an old man, but in reality I am in the group of younger men who just happen to get prostate cancer.
I am sad for the other men who are going through what I am going through. I thought I would be more emotional after treatment and during recovery. Maybe, I realize the importance of being strong to get through the next 6 weeks. During the past 2 months, I've cried or gotten emotional at unpredictable times. I am sure it will happen again.
In 6 weeks, I will have my first post-surgery PSA test to determine if there is anymore cancer remaining in my body. Right now, I am not prepared for any results other than negative. I have to think this way so I can remain positive about the results.
Everyone - thank you for your positive thoughts! Please don't just read this website. Learn from it because some of the information I have provided might prevent you or someone you know from getting cancer.
I want to say thank you to family, friends and colleagues for your emotional support! It means a lot to me!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Back to Seattle for an Emergency
After leaving the hospital and arriving home safely, I started to notice my catheter was not draining and my bladder was filling up. Doctors call it a "retention" issue, which requires urgent care. After talking to Dr. Porter's nurse, she said to get back to the doctor's office ASAP. The drive to Seattle seemed to take forever.
When I arrived at Dr. Porter's office, I was taken immediately to one of the exam rooms where the nurse (Jacki) irrigated the catheter by injecting saline into the bladder. It is the equivalent of filling a person's bladder up from the opposite direction and then extracting the saline along with any blood clots. The nurse found a lot of clots which is what caused the catheter to be blocked. Jacki was funny and gave me some tips on how to create a distraction if this happens again - wiggle your feet. (LOL)
If you have never had a problem with your bladder being clogged, just imagine a balloon inside your body increasing in size as the kidney feeds the bladder. Once the blood clots were removed, wow - what a relief! The sound of a waterfall from my bladder was so wonderful. (LOL)
After leaving the doctor's office, I arrived home safely. I am relaxing comfortably with an occasional walk. For those who know me, I am so-so bored. (LOL)
When I arrived at Dr. Porter's office, I was taken immediately to one of the exam rooms where the nurse (Jacki) irrigated the catheter by injecting saline into the bladder. It is the equivalent of filling a person's bladder up from the opposite direction and then extracting the saline along with any blood clots. The nurse found a lot of clots which is what caused the catheter to be blocked. Jacki was funny and gave me some tips on how to create a distraction if this happens again - wiggle your feet. (LOL)
If you have never had a problem with your bladder being clogged, just imagine a balloon inside your body increasing in size as the kidney feeds the bladder. Once the blood clots were removed, wow - what a relief! The sound of a waterfall from my bladder was so wonderful. (LOL)
After leaving the doctor's office, I arrived home safely. I am relaxing comfortably with an occasional walk. For those who know me, I am so-so bored. (LOL)
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